11 tricks to defeat your social phobia
Fear often comes from a “can’t afford to lose” mentality, depending on the degree of narcissism deep in human nature.
People are not able to cope with Yu Ru because of their seniority, or because they have learned a series of skills that change the “away” to “home” and the ability to manage their emotions.
Going deeper, in an unfamiliar scene, everyone has fear, but some people have more advanced skills in preventing fear from going away.
Newcomer in the workplace: “Beginners” phobias: Xue Shan, 24, joined a foreign enterprise planning department after graduating with a master’s degree. Seven months later, she encountered her first “social waterloo” in her company’s year-end party.
Main complaint symptom: I know that the boss and the seven directors of the German party will all fly to Shanghai to attend the party. Ask a senior colleague, but no one will tell you how they will dress on the party.
So I decided to dress up fresher, using Asana short-sleeved shirt with linen trousers, but when I looked there, the most disgraceful was me and the other three newcomers.As a result, we had to hide in the corner and desperately drink beverages, and go to the bathroom to breathe, to escape the omnipresent pressure in the “Golden Hall”.
Why is the full self-confidence in office a gloomy inferiority complex?
Psychologist’s instructions: For the first time, the party that participated in the multinational company always has a “one door that is as deep as the sea”. This is not surprising, especially if you have “please your boss” or become a “star”Come for the purpose.
Try the following principles: 1. Put down the burden of “I must have impressed the president”, excessive goals and objectives, and tight performance; 2. Know how to keep calm in all social situations, relaxation skills are training, rehearsal andAs a result of careful preparation, you may wish to prepare some “familiar” topics, and chat with strangers with good faces.
3. Don’t talk about work with your boss on Party. When you see a “big man”, please don’t please him with the topic of work, because at this moment, how is it possible for you to have “honor and decree”?
Prepare topics that meet Party rules, such as French movies, wine tidbits, golf experiences, and knowledge of the latest roadsters.
4. 40% costume and 95% costume make the newcomers unable to stand still. Wearing a pair of trousers to the meeting or excessive pearly will be short exposure.
When the experience is not enough to calm you down, the 10% dress is just right, including a small black dress that is concise and close, and an ancestral pearl necklace, and an antique-style amber pendant can also reflect your freshness and beauty.
Don’t fall into the stereotype of comparing diamond size with others.
Appearance of blind date: Bai Yiruo, 26 years old, a foreign dentist clinic physician, introverted personality, introduced by friends a year ago to participate in various blind date parties, including TV shows, 8-person roundtable fast blind date, self-driving friends and so on.
Main complaint symptoms: smooth reading from a young age, and smooth job hunting. I have never heard of the fear of being chosen.
I ‘m always worried about how shameless I am when no one chooses me, and I ‘m afraid of over-eager men, and I ‘m always worried about being caught in the trap of “sexual harassment”
if I ‘m overwhelmed;I came to aim at the target and take the initiative to attack. Would a man think that I was an excessively Westernized girl with a particularly casual sexuality?
Psychologists point out: From 23 to 30 years old, professional women ‘s fear of social parties is decreasing, while the fear of blind dates is rising.
Especially the 26-year-old women who have not yet had an in-depth emotional relationship, they tend to fall into the trap of gains and losses; they are used to taking into account the worst results of blind dates, and the results are frightened by their imagination.
It can also be said that the older a person is, the more likely he is to change from “other” to “narcissistic,” and the depth of narcissism is directly proportional to the difficulty of starting a light relationship.
How to pack lightly and enter the blind date scene?
1. Explain the meaning of your name and help others remember you.
2, show your strengths, especially handicraft works, will bring you a lot of impression points; calligraphy, painting, violin and piano and other talent displays, can show your calm and beautiful beauty, by the way also show your tutor.
3. If you are not on the TV show, don’t bring relatives and friends.
If you are a person who often “imagins failure”, why do you want many people to witness your frustration?
4. You can chase a man, but do n’t be so direct. Some of you are a dentist, you can encourage him to do a dental cleaning treatment. “This will make your smile more charming.
“This invitation is a smart bait to entice him to say what he wants, if he doesn’t hate you either.
Appearances of “Marginal Social Phobia”: Charlotte, 29, an international brand mobile phone software designer who complained of symptoms: When I was at a party, I spent most of my time sitting on a clean toilet, holding a comic book, and hearing outsideYan Yan smiled and experienced inner struggle.
Just because I said at a party, “Jazz” was used as the background music for the Red Light District in New Orleans, USA.
The hardcore jazz enthusiasts at that party criticized me for being indecent. In the end, one of them, who was always silent, shouted, “Women know what jazz spirit is.”
It would be too stupid of you to argue with a layman who doesn’t understand.
Initially so far, I wish I could have a ground seam. Later, I found this ground seam, that is, the WC where you can read the comics and relax, and the WC with tender feelings.
Psychologist pointing: There are not a few people who cause social fear because they made “idiot-level mistakes” in their personality.
A person who is easily entangled in frustration because of a wrong opinion often has a contradiction in self-evaluation. As a result, she wants to lead most topics, like an omniscient prophet; instead, she prohibits herself from making any mistakes.As soon as it is argued, you admit to denying yourself.
In short, her self-evaluation is completely based on the likes and dislikes of others, and her transformation is always suffering in a whirlpool of inferiority and arrogance.
Charlotte is a typical example of “marginal social phobia.” One step to the left will close itself, and one step to the right is no different from normal people.
The psychologist’s recommendations are as follows: 1. Don’t prevent learning from the surrounding social experts.
Maybe like: How to move the topic to the field you know without leaving a trace? 2. Make full use of the “home advantage”.
When you start socializing, try to party in a circle you know.
The surrounding scenes, all the preparation details are clear, which is good for calming emotions.
3, when too panic, try to use abdominal breathing.
Follow your yoga instructor to learn abdominal breathing and release pressure by blocking points, which will bring a more relaxed posture to your social life.